I think every day of the year should have a little Thanksgiving in it.
SPOILER ALERT: I’m going to be tossing a cliche’ or two around.
I am not perfect. I am not near perfect.
I am not even in the same area code as perfect.
It is because of this personal shortcoming that I routinely forget how truly lucky I am. I shouldn’t need my wife, my daughter, my family, my dog or my squirrel to remind me of that. But, I do.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been driving myself harder than ever… even harder than when I was working on my master’s degree. Some of it can be chalked up to the time of year. Commissions are coming in fast and furious and and along with the normal heavy work load, I’m busy. On top of all of that, I’m also stricken with an obsession to create more. It’s like I’m racing an invisible clock to produce and put out as much as I can: drawings, stories; get as many ideas as I can down on something before the well runs dry. It’s freaky, man.
I’ve had a lot of headaches lately. I had a check up – other than a slightly higher than normal blood pressure, I’m okay. So, that’s one less thing to worry about… not that I shouldn’t take care of myself of course… or take for grated for one second that I still have my health.
But this obsession continues. I find myself putting a lot of weight on the number of likes a bob drawing gets on Facebook. I’ve begun picking at my website traffic statistics, my Instagram likes, the Twitter everything! I’ve always kept my eye on these things, but never like this. I’m seeking some justification, some reward, some validation for the driving I’m putting myself through. I’m here to say that no matter how great the response I get, it will never fully justify the work I put in. What I create is an extension of me. If you don’t “like” what I create, then you don’t like me.
Total artsy-fartsy bullshit. Not logical. Not even close to being right.
I’m writing all this to say this: thank you. Thank you all for taking a moment in your busy existence to pause the scroll on your phone, tablet, screen or page turning to appreciate what I place out in the world. I do what I do, not because of that elusive response I seek, I do it because being a cartoonist is the f–cking greatest, most awesomest thing on the planet you can be. I love what I do… love it to the point of hurting myself… sacrificing my life to sneak one more squirrel out into the world.
It’s a privilege to be a cartoonist. It’s amazing to be a cartoonist with a loving wife, amazing daughter, wonderful family, awesome (if a little smelly) dogs, a home, a job and people out there who enjoy, respect and appreciate what I do. And even though I would LIKE a movie deal, a million dollar contract, licensing deals etc., it won’t make me any luckier. No matter how dark, life is good. Life is something to be cherished, cared for and appreciated.
The headaches will go away eventually. This crazy will ease eventually. But I hope the drive to create stays as hot as ever. The willingness and necessity to drive myself to be better, to be different, to open up one more possibility from the infinite possibilities that ink and paper offer… these are things I am also thankful for.
Have a great Thanksgiving. I’ll be here waiting when you return. So will Bob.