The Dryer Chronicles and the Art of Figuring it Out

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Monday morning, I get a text, 8:08 a.m..

I feel the phone buzz, but I don’t look at it right away. Lez is the only one that texts me at that hour, so I’m 95% sure it’s from her.

Maybe my beautiful, adoring wife is wishing me a happy Monday… or summarizing how much in love she is with me, or how awesome it is that we are so perfect for each other and how lucky we are to have each other and how wonderful our family is.  How she can’t wait to see me at lunch and how she wishes she could give me a big hug right now.

With a little smirk I look at my phone.  The text is indeed from my wife.

“The dryer has no heat”

Love is great, but not when she only has 20 minutes to get ready for work.

After swearing silently, I reply; “what’s the setting?”

Now, my wife can type 80+ words a minute.  She can text just as fast.  I am a two thumb texter.  Before she can answer, I just call.  I’m not texting directions to fix something I can’t fix.

After turning it off and on several times with no heat, I tell her I’ll look at it at lunch.  And my mind sets into the mode of what if’s.

In between assignments, I scour the internet looking for clues on how to fix this.  The dryer is only a year old… and a few weeks out of warranty.  Even so, a repair appointment could take weeks to arrange… so yeah, we can’t dry our clothes.

There are much worse things in life.  Make no mistake.

At lunch I go home to examine the semi-functioning appliance.  I know NOTHING about appliance repair.  Not a thing.  I turn it off an on.  I unplug it.  I clean the lint out of the trap.  I jiggle the entire machine.  Turn it on… no heat.  I irrationally freak out.  Slam the dryer door… luckily not damaging the machine even more.  Not smart, I know.  Lez calls a repair service three towns over.  Can’t come today…will cost us $85 for them to look at the machine.  Parts and labor will be more… after they figure out the problem.  Theoretically, the repair could be as expensive as a new one.

I tell her to hang up.  I’m going to fix this. ( It wasn’t as dramatic as that, trust me)

I go back to web… clarify the problem and find some answers.  These answers could ALL be wrong, but what do I have to lose?

Eventually I conclude that the heating coil and/or thermostat are bad.  Again, I could be totally wrong… but I order the parts anyway.  $124.00. Now, I’m invested in the solution.

The company said the parts wouldn’t arrive until Friday.  But, they arrived on Wednesday.  That’s a good thing on two levels. One – I don’t have to air dry my jeans waiting for the parts that may not fix the dryer and Two- I don’t have to spend the entire week thinking I’m going to break the busted dryer even more and have to buy a new one.

Monday night I took the dryer completely apart.  I mean TOTALLY apart.  Pieces of the machine lay silent all over our house.  If I saw a screw I loosened it.  If I saw a wire connector, I unconnected it. The online how-to videos say the parts should just slide out… bullshit.  Nothing came out without having to be unscrewed, unconnected or pried.  I put all the screws in a cereal bowl… because that’s smart, right?

Have you ever taken something completely apart?  It’s an odd head space.  Not only do you see how something works, you can also see how it can break.  This makes me even more weird about trying to fix it.

Wednesday afternoon – I replace the heating unit.  Screw everything in, put all the parts back together…lock the lid.  No parts are left over. I cut myself twice on the unfinished aluminum parts.  Cleaned up most of the blood.

There are still A LOT of screws left in the cereal bowl.  Obviously I missed some.  Oh well.  Gone too far to turn back now.

Hook the vent up. Plug it in.  I make sure the fire extinguisher is handy before I hit the power button.  Hey, I’m confident in a lot of what I do… this is not one of those things.

Turn it on.

It starts to run.  No weird squeaks.  Nothing is violently shaking.  Sounds and looks normal.

But is there heat?

Open the door and the air inside the drum is hot.  Cool.

But wait, is it supposed to be THAT hot?  Seriously.  I haven’t a clue.  Maybe this is a bad thing.  Maybe it’s going to catch fire.  Maybe… I’m overreacting.  Maybe it’s fine.

Three loads of towels later… it’s still fine.

So, I’m telling you all that to tell you this – try and figure it out.  Even if you’ve never been in the situation and you’re freaking out irrationally. You may just learn something.

You may also make it worse, but at least you tried.

Cartoonist and the candy corn…

I love candy corn.  I mean… I LOVE candy corn.

Sure, I get sick of it…especially around November… because traditionally I mainline the stuff into my face from September to October. In November, the love affair wains, being replaced by another love: Christmas cookies.

I’m telling you that to tell you this- as of October 10, 2017 I have lost 40 lbs.  I’ve talked about this transformation previously.  It’s a whole new world, man.  I’m almost in the best shape I’ve ever been… better than I was in my 20s or my 30s.  That’s saying something.

But there’s candy corn.  My new way of thinking and relationship with food has tested this love.  I didn’t run out and get a fall colored bag the moment it was available. (I just found out THIS YEAR that candy corn wasn’t actually available year round… not through conventional means anyway).  I stay away from sugar now.  Candy corn is not only love… it’s a LOT of sugar.  A lot of sugar.

I ended up buying a bag.  And it was really hard to open… the bag was easy to open but getting me to open that bag was hard.  Would my opening that door ruin seven months of new food discipline?  Would I just inhale the whole bag once that first kinda softish, weird textured kernel hit my throat?

It took a me a full day before I could open it.  This is insane, right?

I opened it.  Counted out the recommended single serving (about 19 kernels), and proceeded to re-ignite my seasonal love affair.  Before, about 19 kernels would be a mouthful for me.  One single mouthful.  How would this end?

Eh. It was alright.  Took me a while to finish all 19.  Crazy.  All that build up.  I sealed the bag, put it in my squirrel cookie jar and went on with my life.

I’ll always love you candy corn… it’s not you, it’s me.  We can still be friends.

just a color dream…

It’s an out there, 99%-sure-it’s-never-going-to-happen dream but it would be cool if one day some kid (or adult) somewhere colors something frank page blue.  So far, it’s just been me. #dream #frankpageblue

Categories: blog fun ideas life love

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it’s a bug…

In all my time holding any kind of marking implement, I’ve never drawn a VW bug.

Moving on…

Categories: life

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