It’s my sorta-kinda tradition to post a yearly self-portrait. Despite the fact that I draw myself in my comic strip all the time, I feel the need to do a more realistic illustration for this. There are gaps in the progression, which I’m still working on filling. I have a lot of boxes in places I didn’t even know I had places… so the search continues.
You can click on the image to get a bigger version
It has taken me a long time to get to where I am… wherever ‘where’ is. I’ve gone through a few forests of paper and pencils, swimming pools full of ink and rejection after rejection after rejection to definitively know that… I do not know. On a normal week, I draw a minimum of 20-25 cartoons. That’s not including sketches, separate side projects or the ones I end up trashing… that’s 20 from pencil to ink to Photoshop. So give or take a few hundred, i draw about 1,040 cartoons per year. The economic law of supply vs. demand says that if the supply is high, the demand is low… meaning that the market value of the supply is low.
Does this mean that the value of my drawings is low? I am not suggesting that I turn out more material than anyone else… far from it. I know I don’t. If anyone out there knows me personally, you know I am not one to boast or brag. (Besides, who would really care other than another cartoonist about my output volume?) I’m sure there are cartoonists out there that routinely get 20-25 finished cartoons done in an afternoon.
This is what approximately one year of daily Bob the Squirrel strips (left) and about a year of Sunday Bob the Squirrel panels (right) look like in my well ventilated storage facility.
This is what 15 months of SQUIRRELOSOPHY panels look like…keeping in mind that nearly 60 panels have been sold.
There was a time when I myself put little value into what I do. Like… two days ago. Once the drawing was done, scanned and sent, it was out of my mind and I stopped thinking about it. You really have to. If you stop to dwell on each piece (being a daily cartoonist) you will fall so far behind you might as well be standing still. That mindset lent itself to me not caring about the finished product. It wasn’t until recently I felt the need to re-examine this process… like… two days ago. And all it took was kinda sorta hearing my own words coming out of someone’s mouth for me to change.
I was asked for a copy of something I worked very hard on. No thought from the other party of any kind of compensation for me and my work. My ‘reward’ came in knowing that my work would be used on someone’s project. I should be honored that they thought my work was good enough to ask for. Really? Honored? I almost wish I wasn’t asked and they just stole it. That way, I wouldn’t have been so dumbstruck by the audacity asking me point blank if they could have it took.
I assume you know how this story ended. This person did not get what they were asking for. In their not getting what they wanted, I got something I didn’t think I needed. It was another lever of pride in what I do… that no matter what, there IS value in what I create. If the cartoonist/illustrator/artist can’t see the value inherent in his/her own work, why should anyone else think or see value in it?
I had this feeling once. I developed it while working on my MFA. As grad students, we were constantly poked and prodded by critiques to explain why we did this or why we did that. Why would you use that mark to express that feeling? Why that color? Why that choice? Why that choice? By the end of my graduate work, I was a bear defending its young. The day before graduation, the faculty gathered my class together for an exit strategy meeting. We went around the room and told each other the one thing that surprised us about the program and what it did for us as artists. I said, “I am surprised at how deeply, ‘Romeo and Juliet’ like I have fallen in love with my line…the mark I make on a piece of paper which defines me…I would do anything for that line, defend it with every ounce of blood in my body. Everything else can be taken from me but that line is mine all mine.”
Okay, I know… it’s a little corny… but after those two hard years of work, in a constant defensive stance on my work, that’s what I felt. It has been three years now since I made that little statement. Obviously, some of that passion was lost since… in the day-to-day struggle to get new work out there, new eyeballs on that work and seeking new eyeballs for the work you have done and the work you will do. It took that person asking me for something to get that passion back.
It has been said that something is only worth as much as someone is willing to pay for it.
Considering all that I’ve paid in getting to this point, I’d say it’s worth a whole lot.
About a month ago, I was told that I inspired someone to pursue a career as a cartoonist. That’s pretty cool, right? This person is still in high school, but her work is far above average… she could really do something. I thanked her by doing a drawing for her. She, in turn, thanked ME by drawing an entire comic book using me, Bob, Lez, Lauren and Lucy as the characters. For those of you that don’t know, an entire comic book is A LOT of work. It was hand colored too.
I know, right? Pretty cool.
The following is an email response to the comic and her dreams. I hesitated to share this at first, but I think it could help someone out there that needs a little bump… be it in pursuit of a career or anything else.
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got your wonderful comic last night. i can definitely see all the hard work that you put into it. you should be extremely proud of yourself. thank you for not only sharing it with me, but including both me and my family (literally) in it.
i don’t have to tell you that being a cartoonist is tough. it’s not the toughest job in the world, but it’s still tough. should you decide to dedicate yourself to this, you look forward to many sleepless nights, near constant aggravation, overwork with the prospect of little or no pay and a nagging lack of respect from “real” artists. that being said, it’s all worth it when you draw something that makes you laugh or makes you sit back and wonder, “how did i just do that?”
you don’t get into this thing for the money… you get into it because:
A. you can’t picture yourself doing anything else.
B. you have something to say…and
C. for moments like i just described.
there is a long road ahead of you…as there is in front of me. i’m not nearly where i want to be professionally, but i’m stubborn enough to keep at it, despite every single thing telling me to turn around. i’ve sacrificed an awful lot in order to get this dream within my sights. i’m sure i’ll be sacrificing a lot more before it is achieved.
you’re young. you have time to check out what’s out there… don’t dedicate yourself to one thing right now. there may be something out there you’ve never heard of that might speak to you more than cartooning. treat life like a buffet. get a plate and put a little bit of everything on it. taste everything you can. once you’ve done that, go back for what was the most delicious to you. you’ll find as you get older that you may not get many chances to go to the buffet.
if cartooning is what is in your dna, then go for it. but check other stuff out first. regret is a nasty feeling…stay away from it if you can.
i’m honored to have played a small part in what you want your future to look like and/or be. if you ever need any brutally honest advice, don’t hesitate to contact me. who knows, maybe one day i’ll be working for you. 🙂
take care…
frank
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Being a cartoonist day in and day out takes much more than talent. It takes discipline, love and stubbornness… But doesn’t anything worth anything?
