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The 12 Year Old Squirrel

I debated if I should write something about Bob the Squirrel turning 12.  It wasn’t that much of a debate really…it was just me talking to myself.

Which is essentially how I create Bob the Squirrel.

In squirrel years, a 12 year old squirrel would have already been dead for 7-9 years.

Did I ever tell you about the time that this squirrel saved my life?  I may have alluded to it, but I don’t think I ever went into detail.

It was 2007.  I was having a lot of problems.  I was confused.  I was miserable and just assumed that I would always be miserable.  I was in a marriage I was too much of a chicken to say I didn’t want.  I was at a crossroads with the strip, then a very young 5 years old.  Lots of other things were not going my way.

I was confused.

I felt trapped.

I didn’t let anyone know how deep in the hole I was.  Why?  For the same reason why I never told my mother about how bad I was bullied in junior high school.  Back then I’d repeat to myself, “Just take the hits Frank, you’ll get through it.  They can’t possibly keep hitting you forever, right?”

Fighting back is impossible when the bully and the bullied are both you.

In all the years of being bullied in school, thoughts of suicide were always just out of my realm.  I never considered it then, but I knew it was an option.

This time, there was consideration.

Suicide is selfish. One of the most selfish things one human could do to those that love them.

Well, I was there.  I was a coward.  I wanted out. I wanted out the easy and quick way.

Looking back on this now, it truly disgusts me that I let myself get that far.  That being said, I am not ashamed to talk about this.  Not. At. All.

I wasn’t going to say anything to anyone, I was just going to go.  Again, I didn’t tell anyone how bad I was…but, I’m sure my demeanor at the time (around May 2007) was decidedly dark.

Just as I was ready to go, I had one last thought: How would I update the strip?

I’d read accounts of people being on the verge of suicide only to be pulled back by something small and simple. Prior to my experience, I thought those stories were made-up, trite bull.

Ridiculous.

But completely true.

My entire world was falling apart under my own gravity and my thought was: “How am I going to update the strip?”  My life wouldn’t be the only one I’d be ending.  If I was going, so was Bob.

A talking, wise-ass, cartoon squirrel saved my life.

Seriously.

That’s not to say that once this realization hit me it went from prunes to plums for me. I still had a ton of personal things to work out.  A few days after the realization, I made the decision to walk away from  the marriage and life I’d built.

Bob the Squirrel, July 31, 2007

Bob the Squirrel, July 31, 2007

The only things I took with me from that life were my clothes, computer, drawing board and Bob.  I may have hurt a lot of people by doing this, but staying wouldn’t have worked either.

Bob the Squirrel, August 7, 2007

Bob the Squirrel, August 7, 2007

It’s not easy to start all over.  Trust me.

I made the decision to deal with starting over in the strip itself.  Drawing it all out was better for me than any intensive therapy ever could be. Sharing it with my readers was even more of a help. No one knew that I was contemplating ending it all, only that I was ending my marriage.  I got many wonderful emails from fans willing to extend their virtual shoulders to me to cry on.  All because of a squirrel.

Since then, I’ve bought a house:

Bob the Squirrel, June 9, 2008

Bob the Squirrel, June 9, 2008

got my Master’s degree:

Bob the Squirrel, August 9, 2010.

Bob the Squirrel, August 9, 2010.

and added years to both my life and Bob’s.  I’ve found the love of the most beautiful woman in the world (soon to be my wife):

Bob the Squirrel, December 24, 2013

Bob the Squirrel, December 24, 2013

the joy of owning the craziest and most insane dog in the world:

Bob the Squirrel, September 20, 2008

Bob the Squirrel, September 20, 2008

and a wonderful daughter:10150340298761493

things I never would have had if Bob wasn’t there to talk me off that ledge.

So, as Bob the Squirrel spends his last year as a pre-teen, I look forward to all the other future things he’s afforded me.

Happy Birthday dude.

And thanks.

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best birthday because of a sewer

thank youIn case you hadn’t heard, I needed the sewer line to my home replaced yesterday.

In case you hadn’t heard, replacing a sewer line is expensive.

In case you hadn’t heard, you usually don’t know you have to replace a sewer line until it’s too late to budget for it.  In many ways, it’s an emergency.

In case you hadn’t heard, yesterday was also my birthday.

Yesterday started out with the potential to be one of the worst birthdays ever.  It ended up being one of the best days of my life.

You may be asking yourself, “Really Frank?”  Really.

I needed this problem to help me clearly see a few things…not only about myself, but about the world.

I would like to preface this by saying, in the grand scheme of things, my problem is not a huge problem.  My home and possessions were not destroyed by a hurricane or earthquake.  My health was not (really) put in any immediate danger.  I do not want to convey that my problem was bigger than anyone else’s problem.  It’s a big problem for me though… so there’s that.

After we got the estimate, I panicked.  The amount was way up there.  How was I going to pay this?  I had some savings, but A. it wouldn’t cover it all and B. if I drained my savings, I’d have no savings at all. If another emergency happened, I’d be in a bad spot.  What does a cartoonist do?

He has a cartoon sale.

And that’s what I did.  I put together a SEWER SIEGE ART SALE.  I figured, what could it hurt.  I may not make the entire cost, but I’d make it hurt a little less.  I never even considered asking for donations…I needed to give people something for their money.  I was taught at a VERY early age that earning a buck is not easy.

The next day the machines rolled in and the work began.  What if there were issues once they got to the pipe?  What if these issues were more expensive?  As I watched my front yard move, something else was moving…fans of Bob were buying art left and right.  I didn’t expect to sell like that.  It made me feel good.  Real good.  To think that someone out there would be willing to send me money for art, not because I asked for it (I kinda did) but because my work has always been there for them…every single day.

By mid afternoon, the new line was in and covered.  I paid the plumber in full.  That’s a really good feeling.  A confident feeling…my scribbles helped avoid a nasty problem from becoming any bigger.  My fans helped me out when I needed them.

I will never take a flush for granted ever again.

 

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bob the squirrel’s 11th birthday today…

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first bob the squirrel

First published Bob the Squirrel strip…
February 10, 2002.

Today is bob’s 11th birthday.  He made his first print appearance in the Sunday Sentinel on February 10, 2002. It wasn’t something that happened with a lot of fanfare.  I honestly didn’t even really know who he was.  I had only created him literally days before this panel was drawn.   Those of you that have heard me at speaking engagements are already familiar with this origin.

This is the paragraph where I dump all kinds of cliches on you:  It doesn’t seem like it’s been 11 years. Where did all that time go?  Hard to believe … blah, blah, blah.

I do know where the time went.  It went into drawing 3000+ strips.  It went into molding a character into someone who has life… adding and subtracting along the way.

It does seem like 11 years… my face looks way different than it did in 2002.  My hairline is not only thinner than it was, but I now have the added bonus of flecks of gray in it.  I’m more sore than I used to be.

Hard to believe?  No way.  I wanted to create a comic strip that had legs… that’s not easy.  It’s not hard to believe because I know how HARD I work on this.  I work harder now, even with 11 years in the rear view mirror.  But, in addition to working harder, I work SMARTER.

The person who created this character is not the person who is now writing 11 years later.

This strip is a huge part of my existence. HUGE.  At the end of 2011, I was giving some serious consideration to ending bob and just moving on.  If you have a moment, go back to that post and read it.  It pretty much says it all.

I’ve sacrificed untold amounts of everything in order to keep this strip going.  Financially, in time, effort, blood, sweat, tears, earth wind and fire.  In 2011, I wanted to maybe see what my life would be like without Bob…when hundreds would  kill for the privilege of what I have.

Could I have done things differently?  No doubt.  Could I be making much more money with this thing?  Probably.  I could change this strip to make it more popular…ride the wave of the moment and benefit in the short term…It would be easy.  Too easy.  I won’t do that. If that means I lose out, so be it.  In a world that more often than not turns its back on that which is genuine, I will not change.  The strip is as perfect as it’s going to be… and I should know, I’ve invested nearly a quarter of my life into it…and I’ll probably invest even more.

When this began, I dreamed of a day where Bob would be everywhere.  Everyone would know the strip, everyone would want to wear the clothing, watch the cartoon…etc.  THAT was something important to me… when I didn’t know who the character was.  Today?  I would absolutely welcome all that stuff… but not for the same reasons.   It’s not about that anymore… it’s about (and forgive my MFA coming out right now) the art.  It’s about the reliability… you always know Bob will be there for you.   He may not always make you laugh, but he’ll be there.  He’ll always be there.

Happy Birthday buddy, Happy friggin’ Birthday.

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